Monday, December 3, 2007

Animated Ailments

In my attempt to combat the annoying cough and cold that I can't seem to shake I've been forced to resort to over the counter medication. I turned to NyQuil because, well because it has alcohol in it and it has been known to render me unconscious and unaware of whether I'm coughing or not. This time around it hasn't worked quite as well as it has in the past and my wife suggested I try an OTC med that she had been using. Mucinex. It's a cough suppressant in pill form and while it seems to work pretty well it has one of the worst names in marketing history. It reminds me of Mueslix, the cereal.

Which in turn reminds me, for some strange reason, of Moose Lips.

Which aren't something I'd want to put in my mouth either for breakfast or to stop coughing.

In any case, what I really began to think about was advertising campaigns for drugs. I don't know about the rest of you but I don't send my 12 year old out to buy medicine for me. So could someone please tell me why the hell all of our physical ailments have to be portrayed by cartoons on the commercials? I don't want to think about a lungful of mucus having a dance party in my chest. It's bad enough it's making me cough without thinking about what it's doing with Mrs. Mucus down there.

Are we supposed to run out and buy Nasonex because the Bee has a sexy Antonio Banderas accent? Christ, if you're not paying attention you could end up thinking that Honey Nut Cheerios can cure allergy symptoms.

What the hell are these blobby things on the Zoloft commercial supposed to be anyway? So Zoloft turns you from a sad blob into a happy blob? Welcome to America.

Don't even get me started about Toenail Fungus!

And why do they use cartoons for some and not others? Why not cartoon critters for a cure for crabs, jock itch, or yeast infections? They would all seem to lend themselves to the use of animated creatures crawling around your body crevasses. Wait, I know I know, they could get Bob the Builder to be spokesman for Viagra or Levitra and have this little cartoon construction team with a crane working in the background. Whadaya think?


Anonymous said...

Ha ha I like your idea for Viagra. I think you may just be able to pull that one off. (No pun intended)

Kitty said...

I love the idea of Bob the Builder advertising Viagra - perhaps Wendy could be driving the crane ;-)

Being in the UK, I've never heard of most of the products you mention - I'm quite glad we have no 'moose lips' cereal :-O

Nice post - I hope you feel much better soon :-)

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Bob the Builder. Can we lift it?


Kitty, that cereal is actually SUPPOSED to be European. German, I think. Of course it could just be more marketing bullsh*t being shoved down American throats. Probably the same reason you haven't heard of these products. They're sold to us by cartoons as we sit rocking and babbling in front of our TV's while porridge and drool drips down our chins and the intelligence is sucked from our heads.
Thanks for the kind words.

Hungry Mother said...

I think that the cartoon ads are targeted for that vast pool that can't understand Medicare Part D. The ad people are just heeding H.L. Mencken .

Bruce, a work in progress said...

HM, how very true indeed. Mencken had some insight. One of my favorite of his quotes that is particularly well suited to the world we live in today is:

“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."

And of course there's:

“The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.”

I do part with him on his views of love and marriage though.

Mike said...

The worst ad of all time is the pepto bismal one with people dancing around talking about stomach problems. God, I hate that thing.

Oh, and that little toenail fungus guy is very very worrisome. Someone needs to keep an eye on that little freak.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Oh Mike I know exactly the one you mean. I HATE that commercial!
And toenail fungus is just something that should not be discussed. Frankly I'd rather talk to somebody about leprosy.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

muselix sounds super gross. as does mooselips. i would NEVER make out with a moose.

i wonder what jock itch cartoon would be? maybe a football player, scratching himself with a hockey stick?

i think levitra should be a small cartoon hotdog, and then he takes levitra and becomes bratwurst. it would SO sell!!!!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

TM, I'm glad to see that your standards would prohibit moose make out. You're a girl of discerning taste.
Bratwurst, LOL. They plump when you cookem'!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

so where is your letter to your 13 yr old self? if i had to do one, so do you.

Colonel Colonel said...

I've never been able to figure out why that damned bee talks like Zorro.

And after this I am never eating Mueslix again. Not that I did more than once before anyway, but still, never again after that mental link.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

TM, I'm workin' on it babe. It'll be up in the next day or two.

Col, does that mean that you wouldn't make out with a moose either?