Saturday, November 29, 2008

Maybe the Republicans Were Right

I did want a president that was like me.


Barack and Michelle:  A more perfect union?


A married couple that obviously love and respect each other and aren't afraid to show it. AND he can read and write and think and be open to new ideas. I just want to cry.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Can We Nominate This Doctor For A Humanitarian Award?

Can it really be true?!! If so there's just one more thing to be thankful for.

Ann Coulter's Jaw Wired Shut: Report

I don't wish Ms. Coulter any undue pain and I do realize that this is a sad day for the fantasies of her many FoxNew-lovin' male fans but do have to appreciate the irony.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Update to Yesterday's Post

Looks like I didn't make the cut. This just in:

Ariz. Gov. Napolitano is pick for DHS

Ya'll better learn to hold your breath. Waiting for both these to be distributed:

And in the event you'd ever need them. I'll bet you won't see her wearing one of these. My plan would've kept Americans safe AND smiling. Come on Janet, let's see your big plans for DHS.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Health and Safety Czar

I've mentioned before that I am a health and safety professional. One aspect of my job is to protect workers from exposure to chemicals and other airborne agents. One of the ways we do that is to have the worker wear appropriate respiratory protection, that is, a respirator mask with the proper filtration media. I evaluate the potential exposure, select the respirator and filters, train the employee and ensure a proper fit for the mask on the employee's face.

I also have a background in biology and have worked in a biological containment laboratory with a variety of biological weapons agents such as Anthrax.

Because of my background I believe that I am qualified for a position in the new administration. I'm lobbying for Chief of Homeland Security. And to prove I'm a go-getter and am ready to hit the ground running I've already laid out my first big initiative.

You can stockpile all of the emergency equipment in the world but it is completely useless if it isn't readily available at the moment the disaster strikes. Seconds count. That's why, immediately after I'm sworn in I will mandate that every woman in America will be issued and required to wear one of these:

That's right. The Bra Facemask from Avocet Polymer Technologies, Inc., United States Patent Number 7,255,627. Here's the description from the patent page:

"A garment device convertible to one or more facemasks wherein the garment device has a plurality of detachable cup sections. Each of the cup sections has a filter device, an inner portion positionable adjacent to the inner area of the user's chest, and an outer portion positionable adjacent to the outer area of the user's chest. The garment device has at least one securing device detachably coupling the inner portions of the cup sections to one another, and the garment device has at least one other securing device attached to the outer portion of at least one of the cup sections. This other securing device is operable to: (a) detachably couple the outer portions of the cup regions to one another; and (b) for each one of the cup sections, attach the outer portion of said cup region to the inner portion of said cup region after said cup region is detached from the other cup region, thereby converting the garment device to a plurality of facemasks."

Got that? "A plurality of facemasks"! Think of the lives saved.

And since I'm a consummate safety and health professional, when these are distributed I will personally ensure that everyone is trained AND that their Bra Facemask has been properly fitted. Once that's taken care of we're going to have to practice, practice, practice. Having emergency equipment and procedures in place does no good if people can't use it effectively in an emergency situation. People have to practice until using this equipment is second nature. The only way to reach that level of proficiency is to repeatedly practice in a simulated emergency. That's right! We're going to DRILL BABY DRILL!!!

Regular, frequent, unannounced nation-wide drills. No matter where you are. No matter what you're doing. No matter who you're with. I want those puppies whipped off and on the faces of those around you in under five seconds! (You know I meant the masks, right?)

Through preparation and readiness the people of America will be more secure and confident, ready to face any challenge. No longer do we have to succumb to unforeseen catastrophes and languish while our dysfunctional emergency response system drops the ball again and again. We can take matters into our own hands. We can lay bare our fears. Free ourselves from the restraint that holds up our progress. We can expose ourselves to the sunlight and let ourselves breath the fresh air. America needs to smile again and I believe this program, THIS PROGRAM will make people feel good and will bring smiles to many, many faces.

Give me your support people. I'm the man for the job.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

One Week Later


Here we are one week after the presidential election. One week since I woke up to a happy face painted on the Sun, rainbows in the sky and Unicorns frolicking in the meadow. There has been a lot of news since then. Many stories about Obama and the transition. Not much about McCain. Too much about Palin.

As far as Palin goes, while I found it frighteningly amusing that she couldn't name the countries in North America (even though she lives in one of them and can see another one from her house - if she turns her back on Russia) or that she thought Africa was a country not a continent I do have to say...enough already. We really need to let her go back to Alaska and fade away. The attacks and criticism will only serve to keep her in front of the cameras and shore up her base of supporters ensuring that we'll have to deal with her again in four years if not sooner. Leave her alone and let her go home wagging her tail behind her.

Just a couple thoughts about some of the stories I've read covering Obama.

I'm not sure what to think about Rahm Emmanuel personally but to paraphrase Leon Panetta, he may very well be the right son of a bitch for the job. I think the position of white house chief of staff is a difficult one and Emmanuel could be a very effective Edward Hyde to Obama's Henry Jekyll (in a good way). We'll see.

There was a behind the scenes story about Obama prepping for a debate where he was expressing irritation over stupid questions. He commented about how he HAD to answer and how he'd LIKE to answer. I like knowing that he throws the F-bomb around. And that he can be irritated by stupid. Two things I have in common with the next president.

Another article, Writers Welcome a Literary President-elect reinforced for me that we did the right thing last week. Nobel and Pulitzer prize winning authors are excited to finally have a "...writer-president — and I don't mean a published author, but someone who knows the full value of the carefully chosen word..." The final quote sums it up for me, "...the larger issue is cultural. There's a trickle down from the top in the way art exists inside and outside of the culture as a whole. Here in the USA, you could feel in the Bush years how little regard there was for it. People who disliked art, literature, dance, fine arts, they had a lot of cover for this antipathy. There's reason to believe that we are in for a much better period." Oh wouldn't that be nice. I hope someday soon I can stop ranting about the laser-like focus on teaching only Math, Science and Standardized Testing in this country.

I don't know if this is important but I thought it was kinda cool. The Obama Family Secret Service Code Names have been announced. Listen up people...Renegade is on the move. I repeat, Renegade is on the move.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

America, I'm Proud of You




President Barack Obama




When I was ten years old I stayed up late to watch Neil Armstrong take the first steps on the moon. Watching the election returns felt like that. History.


He provided the vision, let's do what we can to help make it a reality. And may the powers of the Universe keep him safe.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

And They're Off...

Thought I'd put up a few election results links so you can follow the returns.

CNN Election Center 2008

Fox News America's Decision Interactive Map (for that fair and balanced coverage)

I was intending to put in a couple of those election map widgets from MSNBC and CBS but for some reason the damn code isn't working. You shouldn't be here looking at widgets anyway. Get the hell out and VOTE!

Here's one more for you that's pretty interesting. Intrade is an Irish internet "prediction market". Their predictions are reported as, well, odds. And their numbers are based on people who put money on who they think is going to win. That sorta sounds a little like gambling doesn't it? Anyway, several news outlets seem to think that these "prediction markets" are very accurate. Here's their map:

Also, in case you hadn't heard, several companies are offering rewards for voting. Starbucks is offering a free cup of coffee. Krispy Kreme is giving away a free star shaped donut with red, white and blue sprinkles. And if you're lucky enough to live near one of the adult themed Babeland stores you can get yourself free sex toys. So go vote then pick up some coffee and donuts and come home and play with your sex toys while you watch the election results.
Have a great day.

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Audacity of Hoping for Purple

"There are no real and fake parts of this country. We are not separated by the pro-America and anti-America parts of this nation—we all love this country, no matter where we live or where we come from." America's veterans have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America—they have served the United States of America."

-Barack Obama

All the other issues are important. But the message above is the one I'm voting for. Will it be the motto selected by the founding fathers, E pluribus unum? One out of many. Or will it continue to be a nation fueled by fear? A nation whose politics meet the definition described by Henry Adams. "The systematic organization of hatreds."

Back in September 2007, the month I started this blog, I did two posts called "The New Kid" and "The Rise of the Three Brained Man". The first about a kid who had been bullied growing up, losing his way and becoming a bully himself. The second about irrational fear and its roots in the reptile brain. Both posts directly apply to tomorrow.

We desperately need to find our way back to the original path and to do so we must abolish the fear and move toward reason. No great advance or discovery was ever made without swallowing back the fear and taking a risk. Ya'll know what has to be done tomorrow. Let's get out there and put it all on purple.

"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow."

- Orison Marden