Call HER a Band Geek. Go Ahead, I Dare Ya.

Girl beats off muggers with marching band baton

"...The girl punched one of the men in the nose, kicked the other in the groin and beat both with her large baton before she ran away on Friday morning, officials said..."

This is my favorite part:

"...Deputies searched near Quartz Hill High School for the muggers, looking for a man who was holding his bloodied nose and the other limping..."

Yeah girl!

Can you get this martial arts/self-defense manual on Amazon?

Clap if you believe in...flying dogs

Okay. What can you do with a headline like this:

Gone with the wind: Chihuahua blown away


It seems that six-pound Tinkerbell (really) was picked up and blown away by a 70 mile per hour gust of wind.

(Cue superhero music)

But wait! There's no need to fear. With the aid of a pet psychic (REALLY), little Tinkerbell's owners found her in a wooded area a mile from her home. She was dirty and scared to death but otherwise unharmed.

The puppy is safe and sound AND I got to do an image search for Tinkerbell. All's well that ends well. Come on, you know that little cartoon fairy is hot.

Can We Nominate This Doctor For A Humanitarian Award?

Can it really be true?!! If so there's just one more thing to be thankful for.

Ann Coulter's Jaw Wired Shut: Report

I don't wish Ms. Coulter any undue pain and I do realize that this is a sad day for the fantasies of her many FoxNew-lovin' male fans but really...you do have to appreciate the irony.

Update to Yesterday's Post

Looks like I didn't make the cut. This just in:

Ariz. Gov. Napolitano is pick for DHS

Ya'll better learn to hold your breath. Waiting for both these to be distributed:

And in the event you'd ever need them. I'll bet you won't see her wearing one of these. My plan would've kept Americans safe AND smiling. Come on Janet, let's see your big plans for DHS.

Can I Hear An Amen!

Now here is a church that I can really get behind. So to speak.

Baptists. Who knew?

I Are Smart

Okay, I didn't really have anything to blog about today so I stole something from a fellow blogger. Biscuit, I have to give credit. Thank you for giving me something to do while I was putzing around the internet at 11:00 last night.

Here's a quiz to tell you what percentage of the population you are smarter than. Or dumber than, depending on your point of view.

Am-I-Dumb.com - The Dumb Test

I will warn you that before it gives you the results you will have to go through about 478 pages of advertisements. I think that's the real quiz. Have a great weekend. I'll be busy putting away Halloween decorations.

Please Listen to the Following Options...

I remember seeing this a while ago but it resurfaced this morning on a YahooGroup that I'm a member of. It made the rounds on email so you may have already seen it but it still makes me chuckle.

Incidentially, I checked it out on Snopes and, while the circumstances surround this story are true, the message was never actually placed on the answering machine.

"This is the actual answering machine message for Pacific Palisades High School in California. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades -- even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

* To complain about what we do - Press 3

* To swear at staff members - Press 4

* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

* To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

* To complain about school lunches - Press 0

* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"

Update on a previous post:

I'm not sure if this qualifies for the official Number Three spot but 92 year old Vincent M. DeDomenico Sr. the co-inventor of Rice-A-Roni (The San Francisco Treat!) died last Thursday - the same day as Joey and Deborah. Just sayin'.