Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Please Listen to the Following Options...

I remember seeing this a while ago but it resurfaced this morning on a YahooGroup that I'm a member of. It made the rounds on email so you may have already seen it but it still makes me chuckle.

Incidentially, I checked it out on Snopes and, while the circumstances surround this story are true, the message was never actually placed on the answering machine.

"This is the actual answering machine message for Pacific Palisades High School in California. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades -- even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

* To complain about what we do - Press 3

* To swear at staff members - Press 4

* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

* To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

* To complain about school lunches - Press 0

* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"

Update on a previous post:

I'm not sure if this qualifies for the official Number Three spot but 92 year old Vincent M. DeDomenico Sr. the co-inventor of Rice-A-Roni (The San Francisco Treat!) died last Thursday - the same day as Joey and Deborah. Just sayin'.


moooooog35 said...

My wife is a teacher, and - trust me - sometimes the schools ARE to blame.

I wrote a couple of posts on my site about a teacher in my wife's room (first grade) who can barely speak English.

Nice to know the sky's the limit when quality teachers are required.

Here's a link to my "part 2" post:


Enjoy (I'd say it in Spanish but, thankfully, I'm not sure how).

Bruce, a work in progress said...

M6o35, I know you're right, there's blame on both sides. It doesn't help that the good teachers are hampered by the administration and the "no child gets ahead" program.
I'll check out that link. I seem to be having a problem getting on your blog today. I keep getting a "can't load the page" message and it shuts down Explorer. I'll try again later. Thanks.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i would definitely choose #4. it wouldnt matter who left the message, a school, dentist office, rehab clinic, i would ALWAYS choose the "to swear at _____ press 4"

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Well naturally TM, as the story I posted last week reported - swearing boosts morale. I'm sure you'd make them very happy and make yourself feel better to boot.

Mike said...

You know, that may not be a true story, but it certainly should be.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

From what I could tell the only part that wasn't true was the bit about it being actually on the answering machine. The teachers were feeling a little frustrated.

Anonymous said...

Ummm I kinda did all of those and then some, hence the reason we now homeschool.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Homeschool. I read your A to Z list today Prepon. Hmmm, a connection? :-)

Crashdummie said...

Does anyone really have the strength and the memory to go through the whole list?

You guyz lost me at "Hello"... *sigh*