Friday, November 30, 2007

Coughing Through My Ears and Sexual Harrassment

I've been absent for a couple of days. Honestly I've been in kind of a fog. I've had a cold coming on for about the last week. Not a full blown cold but one of those annoying little ones that gives you just enough congestion to cause post nasal drip. You don't notice it so much during the day but when you lay down at night you start to cough. And cough. And cough.

I told you before that I have apnea and sleep with an embryonic Alien face-hugger strapped to my face but what I didn't tell you was that I also tape my mouth shut. Yes. Tape across the lips. Voluntarily. And no, my wife doesn't have anything to do with it. I started having problems with the air leaking out of my mouth during the night and when that happens the therapy goes right out with it. Now no doctor or therapist in his right mind will tell you to tape your mouth shut but when you're struggling with this goofy therapy you try whatever it takes to get some sleep so I started using paper medical tape and it actually worked pretty well. Until this week when I got a cold.

I think you see what's coming. There I am all strapped in and taped up and settling down for the night when it starts. A tiny little tickle in the back of my throat. Maybe it'll go away. cough. That wasn't so bad. Okay tickle's gone. Ah. cough cough. Damn. Alright, I can control this. I'll cough will myself cough cough to not



Have you ever tried coughing with air blowing up your nose and your mouth taped shut? I don't recommend it. Not unless you're really desperate to see what the three smallest bones in the human body look like - you know - the ones in your middle ear. Holy crap.

Needless to say, I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights. I tried to remedy that by buying a big bottle of NyQuil and doing a double shot before bed. It has helped. I did get some sleep. Unfortunately it also has left me (as I said in the beginning) a bit foggy in the morning.

That's one reason I haven't been here to write. The other is that I spent all day Thursday and will spend all day today in training at work. Employment Law for Federal Managers taught by a couple of government lawyers. Now isn't that the perfect topic for a sleep deprived guy with a NyQuil hangover? Most of today was spent covering performance improvement plans and sexual harassment.

Um. Those two subjects weren't directly related, though it might've livened up the class a bit. Can't wait to see what we get into today.

Quick question. Does anybody else think this headline is stupid?

Gee, maybe they could do a story titled "Does the Pope display religious tendencies?".


Hungry Mother said...

I found a good solution to sealing your mouth. It's a mouthpiece without a breathing hole. It's marketed as an anti-snoring device and sold at big drugstores. I've used it a few times when I've had to sleep in the same room with others who would not appreciate my snoring. My wife wears ear plugs, so she can withstand anything but the worst roaring.

I've never learned how to harass sexually, but I've done pretty well with my own techniques, especially staring at a female co-worker's boobs.

I haven't seen very much about Britney that wasn't stupid, except for the getting-out-of-the-car crotch shot which was merely disgusting.

BBC said...

Your sleep and breathing problems sound like a terrible thing to have to deal with.

Britney Spears is a mentally ill, just more mentally ill than the rest of us. :-)

Bruce, a work in progress said...

HM, I know of some people that have had some success using mouthpieces. I haven't tried them, yet. Actually I just got a new mask that covers my nose and mouth. It shows promise but I haven't been able to get used to sleeping in it because of the danm coughing.

The interesting thing I learned about sexual harassment was that it doesn't necessarily have to do with sex the act as much as sex the gender.

BBC, for quite a while it really was no trouble at all. I got used to it pretty quickly. It just astounds me though how fast something changed in the last month or so. Now it's a big PITA.

I guess all I can say about us all being insane is to quote Krishnamurti:
"It is no measure of health to be sane in an insane society."

Mike said...

I am just now getting over a stupid cold that I have had for two weeks and that is not counting the week that it was "coming on." I hope you are not getting one like that.

Britney displaying mental issues? Really? Wow, what a surprise.

moooooog35 said...

I KNEW Chewy was gettin' some on the side.

How's Han supposed to compete with Wookie dookie? She must be ruined.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

mmm we do need to improve sexual harrassment. like this one chick i work with, is always sending me naughty instant messages about the conference table and whatnot, and i really think she just needs to follow through. it's getting frustrating. you should come to my work and lecture us on sexual harrassment performance.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Mike I hope not too. I'm not sure I can take another night like last night. I was ready to take more meds just hoping for an OD to put me out.

Mog, hey man you know what they say. Once you go Wookie...actually I guess I don't know what they say.

TM, I doubt there's much I could teach you. You're incorrigible. Don't change.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

well you are coming here in the spring... you can do a presentation for my company!

Simply Curious said...

You mean the pope is religious? Who'da thunk it...

Anonymous said...

I swear my husband has sleep apnea. He snores something awful and holds his breath at times. He won't go to the doctors!

I have resorted to listening to my Celine songs through my headset at nights.

The stress toys you posted made it so much easier to know what your cough was like. LOL Funny!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

TM, I'm not sure I'd know what to say.

SC welcome. I've heard that he was but I don't believe much that those religious types tell me. Thanks for stopping by.

Bruce, a work in progress said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bruce, a work in progress said...

Prepon, all joking aside, you should really try to talk him into getting checked. Apnea is serious. At the very least I stopped snoring immediately and my wife started sleeping better. Happy wife=happy life.

Glad I could make you smile. Has your day gotten any better? I hope the weekend is great.

BBC said...

Krishnamurti is cool, I have a good book by him, and have studied him. I know a man that spent some time with him and took care of his place for a summer.

But that is the first time I recall seeing that quote.

Colonel Colonel said...

Do you suppose Cindo sexualy harrasses Dick Cheney?

Colonel Colonel said...

That should be "Condi".

Bruce, a work in progress said...

BBC, I don't remember the source for that one but it was definitely attributed to him.

Col, I don't know the answer to that one. Anything wouldn't surprise me about Mr. Cheney after hearing he had an irregular heatbeat last week. I didn't even know he had a heart. I bet it's two sizes too small.

Sara Sue said...

I'm sitting here picturing you giving a sexual harassment presentation using Tequila as a model :) Excuse me while I go wash my hands.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Sara Sue that does conjure up quite the image doesn't it?