Tuesday, November 6, 2007

How 'Bout a Cuddle Love?

This BBC video reports that "Texting" along with one of my favorite subjects (can you detect heavy sarcasm?) "Political Correctness" are among reasons being blamed for people not getting enough cuddles. "Cuddles" is their word (it's the BBC and it sounds kinda cute with the accent) but if you're more comfortable we can call them hugs.

I hope everyone can see the irony in using an impersonal electronic medium to deliver the message about impersonal electronic media contributing to the decline of actual and desperately needed human contact. Together with rampant over-reactionism and rising puritanism this will have us self-flagellating in stone cells, donning hair-shirts and communicating by scribing 21st century hieroglyphic emoticons on plasma screens with papyrus backgrounds. The only live human contact will be with the UPS guy delivering food that you bought from Ebazon.com.

Hugging is an underrated and under appreciated form of expression and contact. In perusing the internet I found dozens of stories covering the health benefits of hugging. There was even one on the terminally uncuddly Fox News (I guess it was part of that "fair and balanced" thing). There are also dozens of stories about the increasing trend in schools to ban ALL physical contact between students, including hugging. I can understand the concern over inappropriate contact but I'm not sure banning all forms of touching and suspending elementary school students for hugging classmates is the way to go. Something about a baby and bathwater?

I'm half Italian and I'm demonstrative. In general I like hugging but like everything else it can be good or bad. My wife got home yesterday from being out of town. When I walked through the door after work and hugged her for the first time in four days it felt wonderful indeed and I didn't want to let her go. On the other hand a hug at the wrong time and/or from the wrong person and there can be some serious squirming. I had a manager a few years back that insisted on hugging every one of her employees when she handed them their paycheck. If I had liked her I wouldn't have minded so much. But she was the kind of person that made me worry that there would be a knife going between my shoulder blades during the hug so it made me just a skosh uncomfortable. Well, that plus the fact that she bought her perfume in five-gallon buckets and doused herself with it everyday so after the hug you walked away smelling like a old syphilitic french whore, but I digress.

Since this is an electronic message I could be tempted to give you all a great big CYBER HUG {{{{{{}}}}}} and tell you to pass it on. But fuck that. Step away from the computer and go give somebody a real one.

12 comments:

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i fucking love texting. it allows me to make dates with other girls while on a date with a girl. also, it lets me do some james bond communication while i hang out with lawyerman. yes, i understand this makes me an awful person, but whatever. thank you technology.

and i love drunk texting. one time i texted a friend a recipe for Pear Shots to someone, and without that text, i would've lost it because of the black out.

Mike said...

I love the smell of a syphilitic French whore. There's just nothing better.

Yeah, hugging is a lost art and if the PC's get their way, touching in general will become a lost art.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

TM, I'm not saying texting is evil and should be abolished. From reading your blog I know that texting is not your only nor primary form of communication. Now whether or not you remember your other interactions is another question. Balance darlin'. I'm just sayin.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Mike, if she had actually been a syphilitic French whore I would've respected her and welcomed a hug from her. I'm not that judgmental. But in this case I cringed at the thought and it actually removed the small joy from payday.
Yep, no touching, no nothing. Just continue being diluted into thoughtless, feelingless. mindless sheeple.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Aww come on I was hoping to get a hug from YOU!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

{{{Prepon}}}

Happy now? Or would you have preferred that I got your attention like the kids do first?

Colonel Colonel said...

I understand that Bill O'Reilly is really into hugging his female staffers, among other things.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Maybe Ann Coulter could stop by and give him a hug.

Hungry Mother said...

I was thinking about Larry David's 5 second rule: after 5 seconds in a hug with a gender of your choice, a hard-on is a result. But, your mention of Ann Coulter makes me wonder about a boner hitting all of that cold bone. Yucccch!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Hungry Mother, I have a problem with the words "boner" and "Ann Coulter" in the same sentence. Yuck indeed. Welcome and thanks for stopping in.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Yes, next time do a little titty tapping before you hug me. :oD

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Prepon, what's the emoticon shorthand for that?