Thursday, November 15, 2007

It Seems I Woke Up in the Twilight Zone






In spite of being in a delightful state of mind when I went to bed last night I had a horrible night's sleep. I have sleep apnea and go to bed every night with a CPAP contraption strapped to my head (explanatory blog post to come). Some nights are better than others and last night sucked. So right out of the box the morning was looking none too sunny. Then I peeked outside and found that it was literally none too sunny. In fact it's raining. Ya'll know how I feel about my morning commute and rain (actually weather, doesn't really matter what flavor) just makes it worse.

So, on the TWO HOUR ride into work this morning I started flipping around the radio dial and ended up on NPR listening to Morning Edition. Congress...blah, blah, blah. Debates...blah, blah, blah. War funding, President Bush, Primaries...blah, blah, blah. A teenager in Europe is arrested and charged with the theft of $58,000 worth of virtual furniture that doesn't exist...blah, blah...WHAT?! WTF did he just say? Yeah, I heard it right. A teen in Europe who plays, lives, games, whatever, in one of those virtual online communities where you buy credits to spend in your fake little world apparently "stole" $58,000 worth of imaginary furniture and gave it to his imaginary online friends. He was then arrested by the real police and placed in a real jail. You can go to jail for stealing something that doesn't exist. Who knew? Hopefully he can imagine himself and his virtual friends in a more pleasant virtual place when his new actual friend Sven offers to establish a new broadband connection for him in the actual shower.

So after the commute to work (did I mention it was TWO HOURS?) I get some coffee, fire up the computer and start my routine. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but this fucking ridiculous story about Santa Claus! Santas Warned 'ho ho ho' Offensive to Women. Oh you read it right. This is going on in Sydney, Australia BUT, the recruitment firm that is hiring the army of Santas - Westaff - is from the US. Unfortunately, since we seem to be the world leaders in idiocy, that probably explains it.

I'm seriously considering going home and going back to bed. Sheesh.



10 comments:

Sara Sue said...

Two hour commute?? GAHHHH!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

It's only about 45-50 miles. It should take less than an hour. It really isn't usually this bad but like I said weather hurts. If it's raining I know I can automatically add at least 20 minutes. I have a great boss and I like what I'm doing for the first time in years. I keep trying to remember that.

Mike said...

Ho Ho Ho is offensive? I freaking give up.

Hungry Mother said...

The long commute freaks me out more than the thought police, but the "ho ho ho" is a close second. What's Santa supposed to say to a woman, "nice tits"?

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Yeah, Mike. What can I say? Perhaps...

"Scotty, beam me up. There are no signs of intelligent life here."

Or...

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
-Bill Watterson

Bruce, a work in progress said...

HM, I believe Santa was told to say "Ha, Ha, Ha". I think if I were told that I'd say sure, whatever you say then do my best Billy Bob Thornton impression from "Bad Santa". Might as well have some fun.

moooooog35 said...

I love two hour commutes.

You get to think, daydream, concentrate on...

Who the f*ck am I kidding...that totally sucks ass.

I've had a few THREE hour commutes...and that REALLY sucks.

..especially if you've had coffee before you left..

..and coffee makes you go number 2.

Bad stuff, commuting.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

I know what you mean about the coffee. For years I avoided McD's coffee because it proved itself to be the THE most potent laxitive in the known Universe. They changed to a more upscale brew recently and I decided to try it - today of all days. Fortunately it doesn't seem to have the um, medicinal qualities any longer. That would've been a very long two hours! And in a pinch, it was passable as coffee.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Just kill me now!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Sorry, you have to suffer and lose your mind with the rest of us.