It Seems I Woke Up in the Twilight Zone

In spite of being in a delightful state of mind when I went to bed last night I had a horrible night's sleep. I have sleep apnea and go to bed every night with a CPAP contraption strapped to my head (explanatory blog post to come). Some nights are better than others and last night sucked. So right out of the box the morning was looking none too sunny. Then I peeked outside and found that it was literally none too sunny. In fact it's raining. Ya'll know how I feel about my morning commute and rain (actually weather, doesn't really matter what flavor) just makes it worse.

So, on the TWO HOUR ride into work this morning I started flipping around the radio dial and ended up on NPR listening to Morning Edition. Congress...blah, blah, blah. Debates...blah, blah, blah. War funding, President Bush, Primaries...blah, blah, blah. A teenager in Europe is arrested and charged with the theft of $58,000 worth of virtual furniture that doesn't exist...blah, blah...WHAT?! WTF did he just say? Yeah, I heard it right. A teen in Europe who plays, lives, games, whatever, in one of those virtual online communities where you buy credits to spend in your fake little world apparently "stole" $58,000 worth of imaginary furniture and gave it to his imaginary online friends. He was then arrested by the real police and placed in a real jail. You can go to jail for stealing something that doesn't exist. Who knew? Hopefully he can imagine himself and his virtual friends in a more pleasant virtual place when his new actual friend Sven offers to establish a new broadband connection for him in the actual shower.

So after the commute to work (did I mention it was TWO HOURS?) I get some coffee, fire up the computer and start my routine. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but this fucking ridiculous story about Santa Claus! Santas Warned 'ho ho ho' Offensive to Women. Oh you read it right. This is going on in Sydney, Australia BUT, the recruitment firm that is hiring the army of Santas - Westaff - is from the US. Unfortunately, since we seem to be the world leaders in idiocy, that probably explains it.

I'm seriously considering going home and going back to bed. Sheesh.

Time That Could Be Better Spent

I hate commuting. Twice in my life have I had short commutes of less than half an hour. The majority of my commutes have usually averaged about an hour but I've had some longer. I had one that took about 90 minutes one way and even one that took two hours - that one was rough. I've been in this job for two and a half years and it's always taken me about an hour to get to work. I moved into a new house in August. It was 10 minutes farther from were I had been living. I get up and leave about 20 minutes earlier than I did. It now takes me close to 90 minutes to get to work. WTF? It's made worse by the fact that those other long commutes were largely solid driving - at or above the speed limit. Sixty minutes usually meant about sixty miles. This hour and a half drive is one I can do in about 45 minutes with nothing on the road. The last 20 miles takes close to an hour. Mix in an accident, rain, snow, sleet, fog, or even bright sun - well, fugidaboutit. I actually don't mind having a bit of a commute as it allows me a transition between home and work and in the evening it gives me some time to decompress before I get home. I guess it's the sitting in traffic feeling like I'm wasting my time that I hate.

I've tried to make the time alone in my car pass more quickly and be somewhat productive. Music, radio, books on tape, dictating writing projects into a voice recorder, I even learned to speak and understand a little Irish. But time alone in my car is time alone in my car and sooner or later I end up inside my head. Up to a point that's a good thing because I believe we all need some time every day spent in quiet contemplation. Beyond that point well, let's just say if you stay too long you might find a door that should remain closed and you risk wandering into the scary place.

While I was clattering around in the old cabesa today I was thinking about time, something we all have an unknown and finite amount of. I did some quick, back of the cocktail napkin calculations. With a three hour round trip commute that's 15 hours per week. Roughly 60 hours per month. 720 hours per year (excluding vacations). In a car. For arguments sake let's say I get up at 6AM and go to bed about 11PM. That's 17 hours awake (we won't count time sleeping). I work a 9 hour day plus 3 for the commute, that's 12. I don't really see my wife and kids in the morning while I'm getting ready so we'll throw in another hour there. That's 13 of the seventeen hours per day that I'm awake spent either at work or in the car, leaving 4 for the family. 65 hours per week versus the 20 hours with my family. Adding in the precious hours of the weekend (adjusting for sleeping in, etc.) brings it up to 48 hours at home. That inequity really bothers me because I am not nor will I ever be the kind of person who, on their deathbed, wishes they had spent more time at work. Is it any wonder the weekends are so important to me, or to any of us? Choosing to invest time for a purpose is one thing. I have to work to support the people I love. Having to invest some time to get to that place of work is a given. But goddamn do I resent feeling like time is being stolen from me especially when, as I said in the title, it could most certainly be better spent.

Thanks for listening. Sorry for the rant but hey, that's what you get when I spend too much time in the car. And in my head.

A side note. I'm probably going to be scarce for the next few days. I won't be sitting in traffic. I'll be home. With my family (including my oldest who's coming home from college for the weekend. Yea!!!!!). I'll be putting the finishing touches on the Halloween props and decorations for our party on Saturday. I'll try to check in and I'll definitely post pictures when I'm finished.