Saturday, January 12, 2008

Randomness

Just a list of random things to contemplate from one of those clever (or maybe not) emails that someone sent around. I think I recognize a few of them from various comedians but who has time to verify every email joke that comes in?

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We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where all the terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Homeland Security.



Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.


Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.


Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.


Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?



In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And finally, last but certainly not least, one that is so true on so many levels:



Life is sexually transmitted.

11 comments:

Kitty said...

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

THAT should be taught to every young girl. It will stand her in good stead for the rest of her life. x

Malach the Merciless said...

I am very sensitive

Malicious Intent said...

You speak truth oh Great Almighty Bruce! I have no argument with your words of great wisdom and knowledge.

Now can I have a promotion and be in charge of all of the cheese in the world once we take it over?

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Now Kitty, I think there's a few other things they ought to know.

Me too Mal. I'm hungry, I think I'll go get a sandwich.

MI, CHEESE? Who's going to look after the chocolate?

Malicious Intent said...

I'm on a diet.
But you are right, depsite that, someone will need to control it as it most likely will become future currancy. As will cheese.

Colonel Colonel said...

"Sex on tv is only bad if you fall off".

Bruce, a work in progress said...

MI, you are definitely a front-runner.

Col, I couldn't agree more. Problem is with those new fangled flat panel TV's. You have to have really good balance.

Hungry Mother said...

Very nice list. It's interesting how these funny lines have some thought-provoking material in them.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Very true HM. Turning the mirror on ourselves and provoking thought isn't always an easy thing to do. Comedy is the "spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down", if I may quote Mary Poppins.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

So what's your favorite kind of sandwich? ;o)

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Something with a lot of protein for those times when I'm not hungry.