Saturday, January 5, 2008

We Regret to Inform You That On the Twelfth Day of Christmas...

January 5, 1973


This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.




Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender, & Chole



---------------------------

And so it ends. Crap, now I have to think of something to blog about. Well, between today and Monday maybe I'll have an epiphany. AH HAHA! Get it? Epiphany? Between today and Monday? Tomorrow's the Epiph...ah hell, never mind.

11 comments:

Malicious Intent said...

I plan on having a bowel movement sometime between now and Monday. Is that sorta like an epiphany?

You could always start blogging about something really important, deep, concerning and world changing...like Britney Spears. Did you ever think you would see someone make Paris Hilton look like an angel? Now that is IMPORTANT stuff!

Malach the Merciless said...

Very enjoyable.

Colonel Colonel said...

Why does that woman hate birds?

Bitch.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

MI, I wouldn't even know where to begin with the Brittany story. Sheesh.

Mal, glad you liked it. Thank Hugh Heffner and the writer (who's idenity I was never able to discover).

Col, to tell you the truth, I'm a little afraid of birds too. They evolved from dinosaurs. And we've been eating them for a long time. I think one day they're going to rise up. It's in their DNA. Alfred Hitchcock thought so too.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

I am sure you will come up with something dear Brucie.

If not then you could always post some nude photos of yourself.I am sure no one would mind.

Kitty said...

What she said ^^ :-D

Poor Agnes though :-( I hope John gets what's coming to him. x

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Prepon, Kitty, I assure you. Somebody would mind.

Malicious Intent said...

Topics of interest for Bruce to post about:
1.) Malicous Intent-who is she? We must worship her!
(that would be the BEST topic, but I am bias)
2.) It is an election year and our candidates are guaranteed to provide us with and endless stream of soundbites to amuse and amaze.
3.)Britney Spears. You don't have to start anywhere particular, just make it up as you go, she does.
4.) Writers strike, I mean it really has impacted all of or lives!
5.) Pedicures
6.) P.P. will like this one "The incredible edible egg." Maybe a recipe of the month club.
7.) A study on belly button lint.
8.) You can do surveys, topics can include marriage, children (nah), thoughts on world domination, etc.
9.) World domination
10.) Worshiping Malicious Intent

Just trying to help! Hope this helps.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i think you should blog about ninjas vs pirates.. their merits, who would win in a fight, etc.. hell, that sounds like something i might blog about but i've been too busy recapping my adventures. feel free to blog about it though. it's an important, relavent subject

Malicious Intent said...

Tequila is right, I completely over looked that vital topic.

Hungry Mother said...

Now that the college football season is over, I think you should blog about college basketball. Isn't "fiddling" a euphenism for wacking the carrot? Was that a Freudian slip? An epiphany?