Monday, April 21, 2008

Welcoming Mike Back!

As I'm sure you all are aware our dear friend Mike had some serious medical issues of late and he spent last week in the hospital having portions of his anatomy removed. We all, in our own way, asked God, the Goddess, the gods, the Universe, the Force to smile upon him and positively intercede on his behalf. Prayers, well wishes and positive energy were sent and small rodents were sacrificed to ancient, all but forgotten Sumerian deities. And they heard. And they smiled. And they gave Mike really great painkillers. And they saw that it was good. Now he's back with us and we'll see that is good as well. If for no other reason than his blogs are routinely peppered with nearly naked pictures of really hot women.

I'm not going to go into detail about Mike's medical issues. That's something that is very personal and to talk about medical issues and private bodily functions to just about anybody that will listen would make me my mother. I'd hate to have this blog interrupted by a gunshot and the spattering of the contents of my head on the screen because I've made my daughters swear a solemn oath that they'd shoot me if I ever started acting like her. But enough about me, I was talking about Mike. I want him to be able to put his illness behind him. To forget about being in the hospital and surgery and all that and to move forward and concentrate on recovering. To that end I'd like to give Mike a few gifts and some suggestion for things he can do to make himself feel better.

First, I'd like to present him with this lovely gift pack (I'd like to present him with it but I'm cheap so I'm just presenting him with the picture of it) which includes a T-Shirt, button, sticker, and an adorable plush stuffed toy. The T-Shirt says "When Urine Love".

Next, Mike really needs to focus on his diet. He needs to eat well in order to recover and build his strength. I understand that these have lots of protein.

Plus, there's nothing better than comfort food when you're under the weather so here's a hearty Steak and Kidney pie to stick to his ribs. Kitty sent this all the way from England.

Tequila Mockingbird insisted on contributing so when he's feeling a little better he can have a little medicinal nip from one of these nicely engraved flasks. The description said they were kidney-shaped but I'm not sure what that had to do with anything.

I'm sure he's doing a lot of resting right now but when he's up and about it's important that he have a proper, ergonomically designed workstation. He can do his blogging from this compact computer desk. The description said it was kidney-shaped but I'm not sure what that had to do with anything.
When the weather's warmed up and he's cleared to get his incision wet he can get some exercise and cool off at the same time in this beautiful pool. The description said it was kidney-shaped but...well, never mind.

And don't you worry about pool maintenance brother, I've got that covered. She can't wait to see your scar.

It feels good to do something for someone else. And I'm really, really glad that I took the high road and avoided talking about Mike's private health issues. I mean, that's something that should be his to share if he chooses.

We missed you buddy and we're very glad you're back and doing well. Sincerely.


Colonel Colonel said...

You were very discreet. I was not so discreet, and believe i deserve a spanking from Catherine.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Then she can spank ME!

Hungry Mother said...

If I can get a spanking from the Zeta, I'll give Mike a virtual trip to the Cote d' Azure so he can see this.

Kitty said...

Does Catherine 'do' virtual spanking? If so, surely Mike deserves the first *thwack*?

I didn't know I was capable of making such a huge steak and kidney pie - must've done it when I was sleepwalking or something?

Mike will be so pleased you were discreet about his surgery. Like you, I'm thrilled to have him back. I was going to say 'have him back in one piece' which, of course he is, if missing a little corner.


Malicious Intent said...

I still think my gift to him was better than yours. You cheap ass! Show some skin!

Mike said...

Dude--I am overwhelmed. And seriously Bruce, thank you for not showing me your boobs. That might have caused me to have to ingest another round of pain meds.

Thanks Bud. Very nice and thoughtful of you.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

HM, something tells me I should wait until I'm home and not on a work computer to click on that link so I'll reserve comment.

Kitty, Mike hasn't fully recovered and wouldn't be able to handle being first in line for a full strength KZJ spanking. That's why Col, HM and I are going first. It's out of concern and friendship for Mike - we want to tire her out.
And don't be so humble about the pie. It looks delicious! Except, you know, for that whole kidney thing.

MI, your gift was definitely better. I cannot argue. I'll see what I can do about showing some skin later this week.

Mike, you are most welcome. We love you man. And, no boobs, I promise.

Malach the Merciless said...

I see Mike is in good hands, I want to get a disease now, I feel unloved.

Malicious Intent said...

Mal, I thought you were a disease.
Now I am confused.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

nice, i love my contribution!

Malicious Intent said...

Dude, we just lost Kitty now! What in the hell is going on in this world? Damn.

Malicious Intent said...

New post, new cleavage. Yes, I am that low.

Crashdummie said...

wow, seems like it pays off to be on your exchange gifts list :D

Malicious Intent said...

you are now behind on your M.I. worshipping schedule. Don't blame me when brimstone starts falling on your house.