Tuesday, September 9, 2008


This just in.

Israeli security forces black performer to dance

Because of his name Abdur-Rahim Jackson, African-American member of the Alvin Ailey dance troupe was forced to perform dance steps for Israeli security at Ben-Gurion International Airport in Tel Aviv before he was allowed to enter the country. This infallible and fool-proof security measure, the latest in high-tech counter-terrorism techniques, was necessary in order to prove that Mr. Jackson was indeed an American dancer and not a Muslim terrorist posing as an American dancer. A fact widely recognized within the world's security forces is that Muslin terrorists have no natural rhythm.

News of this new trend of attempted infiltration has spread among all of our allies in the "war on terror" (it didn't take long, how many are left, two?). This incident has prompted the Department of Homeland Security to raise the alert level. DHS has also begun investigating dance schools in the country paying particular attention to students who are interested in learning only a few convincing steps but no big finish. Procedures at American airports are being revised in phases beginning in Texas. In the event that a traveler refuses to perform the requested dance steps TSA officers wearing cowboy hats and boots will draw six-guns and shoot at the individual's feet while shouting "Dance!" and laughing menacingly. This reporter has managed to obtain a copy of the TSA training video from an unnamed source.

Stay tuned for more information as it becomes available.


Kitty said...

Cool! I hadn't seen Bugs Bunny or Yosemite Sam in a long time!


Bruce, a work in progress said...

Hi Kitty. It's so nice to see you. I can't promise I'm back full time yet but I'm trying to ease back into it. Seeing that headline today made it pretty easy.
Happy to provide a Bugs fix. They just don't make'em like that anymore.

Malach the Merciless said...

Gotta love those Krav Maga nut cases

Hungry Mother said...

Makes more sense than some of the stuff we go through at airports. I often do a couple of smooth moves when my bare feet meet the marble floor going through the security line.

JulieLeto said...

"Poor little maroon..."

God, I love that rabbit.

Malicious Intent said...

No wait...are the security personel at the airports who are asking for the dance steps to prove you are not a terrorist trained as professional dancers themselves? Or are they just rent-a-cops getting a 30 minute training video on this. If not, they may find themselves trying to settle a lot of lawsuits from dance discrimination.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

HM, don't get me started about standing in the airport in my socks. All I can think is "they won".

Why Ms. Leto. I do declare. It is an honor and a pleasure to have you here. I have to agree. Bugs has always been my favorite. Hugs.

MI, MI, MI. How you doin'? You raise a good point. I wonder if the dancer's union has caught wind of this.

JulieLeto said...

Now that you're updating, I'll be here more often!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Julie, I don't know where this uncontrolled burst of blogging came from but hopefully I'll be able to maintain it and stick around for a while. And you are, as always, most welcome. At my blog and my house (hint, hint).