Thursday, December 11, 2008

Baby I'm Just Jogging In the Dark

Yesterday my alarm went off promptly at 6:00 AM just like it does every weekday morning. I hit the snooze just like I do every weekday morning. What made yesterday different was that I actually fell back to sleep until the alarm went off again. Don't get the wrong idea. When it comes to the snooze button I'm no saint. Had it not been for my wife's threat of dire consequences if I hit that snooze one...more...time, I probably could have gotten the record for most consecutive hits. Hated getting up to go to a job I loathed.

Despite the roller coaster of crises we had this summer the job I have now isn't so bad. The repercussions from our little incident in June are still echoing and will be for the foreseeable future thus making work a lot less fun but when you've been to the fiery pits of hell working in a boiler room doesn't seem so bad. With this job it's been relatively easy to get up with the alarm (the first time) and spare my wife the torture of the recurring beep. That's why it was so surprising for me to hear the alarm the second time.

What surprised (and confused) me even more and probably added to my disorientation was that I not only fell back to sleep but I fell back to sleep deeply enough to have vivid dreams. For all of nine minutes I had Technicolor and CinemaScope going on. Also unusual for me because I don't generally remember my dreams.

I was alone outside in the driveway of house in a residential neighborhood. The kind with large lots where the houses are pretty far apart and there's no sidewalk. There were a lot of trees, mostly evergreens lining the street and spread sporadically on the lots through the neighborhood. It was at night and it was pitch black (then how'd you see the trees? shut up it's my dream) and cold. Like see-your-breath cold. I was dressed much like I was on Saturday when I put up Christmas lights in old jeans, a camo Army field jacket, heavy work boots, and gloves. With me so far? Good. So, there I am standing in the dark, in the cold in a coat and steel-toed boots...and I run out into the road...and start jogging.

Anybody that knows me can tell you that this was no longer a dream. It was a nightmare. For a very long time I have lived by the rule that there are only two situations which will cause me to run. 1. There is something behind me worth getting away from. 2. There is something in front of me worth catching. One or the other is a requirement.

I started friggin' jogging.

This is where the psychoanalytical look into my subconscious comes in. The neighborhood and the road seemed familiar to me but because it was so dark I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me. It was hilly but I kept along at a steady pace. Then dogs (BIG. dogs.) start barking on either side of the road. All through the neighborhood - it sounded like the frickin' twilight bark. I could hear them barking from behind the trees but never saw them and the farther I ran the louder and closer to the road they seemed to get. Then I started hearing what sounded like a car coming up behind me but every time I turned to look there were no headlights and I never saw a car.

Then the alarm went off again.

So, to recap. I'm running in the dark and don't know and can't see where I'm going. I'm dressed inappropriately and not prepared for what I'm doing. There's some unseen potentially dangerous thing catching up to me. And I'm being assailed on all sides by barking dogs. Hmm. Wonder if I should get out the dream dictionary for this one.

I did notice one good thing. I never got winded during the entire dream. Does that mean my subconscious is in good shape?


Malach the Merciless said...

See what happens when you take PCP constantly?

Hungry Mother said...

That jogging world might be your reality and the other world your nightmare.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Mal, I need to take something after seeing the image of me jogging.

HM. Now you've got me scared. Take it back.

Malicious Intent said...

Me seriously thinks you need to change your line of work. When is starts slipping into your dream world, time to jump.

I mean, how many safety violations did that dream contain??

I am putting my challenge up best get busy! Or you will NOT get your romantic spankings for Christmas. And I already purchased a new paddle with lovely leather trim and gift wrapped for you wife. She agreed to post pictures for us.

Malicious Intent said...

Hey in that dream (yeah I know, late posting about the actual post) do you hear a chainsaw going off and getting closer to you while you are running in the dark? Cause I had this dream I was in the dark chasing some inappropriately dressed dude with dogs and my chainsaw, but we never could catch the bugger.

Malicious Intent said...

Dude, it 2009. POST SOMETHING! And don't think I have not seen you post to others and completely over looked mine. The Goddess is angry and this is not good. You must repent and get your ass back in gear....or body parts may start falling off, and you won't like what I choose to fall off.

Happy New Year!

Malicious Intent said... ok?
What's up?
Worried, brother from another mother.

Vicki said...'ve been jogging in the dark for a long time. Did you get lost?

Malicious Intent said...

If you do not post soon, I will be forced to send my tribe of umpa lumpa's to your home...and they do not leave. Trust me. I will then be forced to call you out publicly and shame you.

Now let's see some simple communication here. Morris code will even do. A simple "Help, they cat people have me." or "I am alive, barely, send soap." Ya know, something like that.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Aww. You like me. You really like me! I'm alive! I swear, really. Funny because just yeaterday I started working on a new post. I've been doing a lot of navel gazing and it's taken me a while to see past the lint in my to speak. I will be back soon though probably not as frequently as before. More frequently than once every two months but not every day. I have been Twittering (stop the snickering) and if you look to the left of my post you'll see more frequent update that do indicate life. I guess I've found 140 character posts at a time a little easier to manage lately.
Vicki, is that a new avatar picture? Very nice, I like it.
MI, your picture is new too isn't it? Very nice beads ('s really me).