Where am I? Who are you?

Jogging. A car approaching. Barking, snarling dogs. I...just...can't remember. It'sallablur. My god, what happened...where am I?

The last thing I remember is

And then I heard a car, a screech of tires, a thud. I was flying. I was looking at the sky. It's full of stars.

And then...and then the sound of a snarling, angry animal. I remember suddenly being attacked by an angry animal. It was...it was...a

No, that's not right. It was a...

No. I don't think so.



YES! One of those.

And then it all went dark and I remember hearing voices and it seemed like a dream...


...But it wasn't a dream -- it was a place. And you -- and you -- and you -- and you were there. But you couldn't have been, could you? No, Aunt Em -- this was a real, truly live place. And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice...but most of it was beautiful. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, I want to go home. *



And then I started to wake up. I was lying on a hard surface and I couldn't move my arms or legs. My face was covered with a blindfold. I heard screaming. A woman's voice. She kept saying "WAKE UP AND BLOG SOMETHING!!! BLOG SOMETHING DAMN YOU!!!" And then there was water on my face...and I couldn't breathe. I was struggling, trying to make it stop.



The blindfold shifted and I thought I caught a glimpse of someone...something...it isn't very clear but it looked like...beads?

I don't know. I can't be sure. I lost consciousness after that. The next thing I remember is waking up here. In front of the computer with my Blogger account open.

Man. That was crazy. Maybe I ought to lay off the spicy food before bed.

So, what's going on around here? How's everybody been?

*For some unexplained reason I started channeling Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.

Baby I'm Just Jogging In the Dark

Yesterday my alarm went off promptly at 6:00 AM just like it does every weekday morning. I hit the snooze just like I do every weekday morning. What made yesterday different was that I actually fell back to sleep until the alarm went off again. Don't get the wrong idea. When it comes to the snooze button I'm no saint. Had it not been for my wife's threat of dire consequences if I hit that snooze one...more...time, I probably could have gotten the record for most consecutive hits. Hated getting up to go to a job I loathed.

Despite the roller coaster of crises we had this summer the job I have now isn't so bad. The repercussions from our little incident in June are still echoing and will be for the foreseeable future thus making work a lot less fun but when you've been to the fiery pits of hell working in a boiler room doesn't seem so bad. With this job it's been relatively easy to get up with the alarm (the first time) and spare my wife the torture of the recurring beep. That's why it was so surprising for me to hear the alarm the second time.

What surprised (and confused) me even more and probably added to my disorientation was that I not only fell back to sleep but I fell back to sleep deeply enough to have vivid dreams. For all of nine minutes I had Technicolor and CinemaScope going on. Also unusual for me because I don't generally remember my dreams.

I was alone outside in the driveway of house in a residential neighborhood. The kind with large lots where the houses are pretty far apart and there's no sidewalk. There were a lot of trees, mostly evergreens lining the street and spread sporadically on the lots through the neighborhood. It was at night and it was pitch black (then how'd you see the trees? shut up it's my dream) and cold. Like see-your-breath cold. I was dressed much like I was on Saturday when I put up Christmas lights in old jeans, a camo Army field jacket, heavy work boots, and gloves. With me so far? Good. So, there I am standing in the dark, in the cold in a coat and steel-toed boots...and I run out into the road...and start jogging.

Anybody that knows me can tell you that this was no longer a dream. It was a nightmare. For a very long time I have lived by the rule that there are only two situations which will cause me to run. 1. There is something behind me worth getting away from. 2. There is something in front of me worth catching. One or the other is a requirement.

I started friggin' jogging.

This is where the psychoanalytical look into my subconscious comes in. The neighborhood and the road seemed familiar to me but because it was so dark I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me. It was hilly but I kept along at a steady pace. Then dogs (BIG. dogs.) start barking on either side of the road. All through the neighborhood - it sounded like the frickin' twilight bark. I could hear them barking from behind the trees but never saw them and the farther I ran the louder and closer to the road they seemed to get. Then I started hearing what sounded like a car coming up behind me but every time I turned to look there were no headlights and I never saw a car.

Then the alarm went off again.

So, to recap. I'm running in the dark and don't know and can't see where I'm going. I'm dressed inappropriately and not prepared for what I'm doing. There's some unseen potentially dangerous thing catching up to me. And I'm being assailed on all sides by barking dogs. Hmm. Wonder if I should get out the dream dictionary for this one.

I did notice one good thing. I never got winded during the entire dream. Does that mean my subconscious is in good shape?