Keep to the Code

We've all heard about "honor among thieves" and about bad guys and villains with their own sense of right and wrong but all that always seemed to be more of a romanticized creation of Hollywood than actually reality. Finally we have proof.

Mafia '10 Commandments' Found

I absolutely love this. I'm half Italian and my grandfather came over from Sicily, so maybe that's why this story appealed to me. Italian police finally located and arrested Salvatore Lo Piccolo after 14 years on the run. He was positioning himself to be the Don of Dons in the Sicilian Mafia. When they searched the country house in Palermo where he was arrested they found administrative documents of Cosa Nostra (even they can't escape paperwork) which contained among other things, THE CODE. Who would've believed that the Mafia had a written code of ethics? The list begins with a simple preamble that states "I swear to be faithful to Cosa Nostra. Should I betray, my flesh will burn."

The Ten 'Mafiosi' Commandments are:

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
2. Never look at the wives of friends.
3. Never be seen with cops.
4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.
5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife's about to give birth.
6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.
7. Wives must be treated with respect.
8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

I don't know whether knowing that almost all of our politicians couldn't be in the Mafia comforts or frightens me. Holy crap! The Mafia has a higher moral standard than Congress! I'll make you an offer you can't refuse. Let's adopt this list as a new oath of office - along with the same punishments if the oath is broken. In some sort of twisted way it seems...I don't know...more honest.

Have a great weekend and remember, "leave the gun, take the cannoli".

Sassy Bruce

Almost two years ago while I was clicking through a news website I came across an article that saddened me. It reported the closing of the Winchester Repeating Arms Co. (technically the U.S. Repeating Arms Co., the Winchester name is licensed) manufacturing plant in New Haven, CT. The plant where Winchester rifles and shotguns had been made for over 150 years and production of the Model 1892 Winchester, probably THE most recognizable rifle in history was to cease. Anybody who has ever seen a John Wayne movie or any other Western knows what a 1892 Winchester lever-action rifle looks like even without the picture I posted above. It's been used in just about every Western movie ever made, even the ones that historically take place long before 1892 (which curiously is when the Model 1892 was introduced). This rather nostalgic article from (of all places) The Washington Post sums up what I was feeling when I heard the news of the demise of this unique American icon.

My dad was a huge fan of Westerns and I sat by his side watching and loving them too. Right up until a couple of years ago, whenever he came to visit he demonstrated a unique ability to find obscure channels on cable that played continuous reruns of old Western TV shows. As a kid I played cowboy complete with capguns and hat. Hell, I even had a real pony (mean little bastard named Cocoa) My family, like a lot of families back then, had a real Winchester. It was my Grandfather's and I think my uncle ended up with it but I learned to shoot it at an early age and took to it very well. I wasn't much into sports but man I loved target shooting. I was good at it.

When I read the news about the plant closure I decided I was going to look into getting one of those rifles before they became scarce and too expensive to buy. So I started Googling to try to gauge price and availability. During my search I accidentally came across a website for a shooting sport that I had never heard of. Cowboy Action Shooting. The website belonged to the national organization that oversees the sport. The Single Action Shooting Society more commonly known as SASS.




Can you imagine? A sport that involved using an alias, dressing like a cowboy and target shooting with real cowboy-style guns in a competitive setting. SIGN ME UP! I read the summary of the sport and all the other information available then I checked the locations of their affiliated clubs. There were three all within a hour of me. I went to watch the first match I could get to and started asking questions. As it turned out you need two pistols, a rifle and a shotgun plus all the other accessories so it took me a while to get everything together. It's not a cheap activity but they're not real sticklers on a lot of things other than safety when you're just starting out. I finally got myself fully equipped and officially shot in my first match last March. I was a bundle of nerves so my goal was just getting through the stages safely and getting a feel for the whole thing. I didn't set out to win anything and I wasn't disappointed but man was it ever fun. It's not an age or gender limited sport by any stretch of the imagination. There were whole families there - all shooting. Quite a few ladies and children, all of whom out shot me. The summer was insanely busy and got away from me so I didn't get back to another match as planned but...next year I intend to dive into it.


A local TV station in California did a story called "High Noon in Fresno" this week on the sport and the local club. It's pretty well done and provides a good introduction.

There are also several instructional videos posted on Expert Village that give an overview of the sport, equipment, and shooting categories.

I never did get that Winchester but I did end up with two Colt reproduction pistols, a Winchester reproduction and a double barrel shotgun. Oh, and an alias. You can call me Tiberius Wolf pardner. My kids however like to call me "Sassy Bruce".

Bubble-Wrapped Kids

Okay I did the whole thing on hugs and political correctness and declining social contact yesterday. I was planning to move on today. I really was. But then I got my coffee, opened my browser, started to check the morning news...and got hit with this:

Girl, 13, gets detention for hugging two friends

Megan Coulter (ironically I mentioned Ann Coulter yesterday in one of my comments - to my knowledge they are not related) put her arm around the shoulders of two girlfriends to say goodbye for the weekend and she got slapped with two days of detention, one for each girl hugged.

Here is the actual wording of the policy from their student handbook:

“Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.”

Displays of affection are in poor taste...and brings discredit...to the person involved. Yep. That's the road we're heading down.

School District Superintendent Sam McGowen thinks the policy and the penalty is fair. What's the matter Sam, mom didn't hug you when you were a kid? Haven't worked that out in your therapy yet? Okay, group hug for Sam everybody.

Look, don't get me wrong. I'm a father. I'm not advocating that middle school students should be allowed to grope and make out in the hallways (or anywhere else for that matter), but putting your arm around a friend's shoulder? This blind, mindless, unquestioning adherence to these zero-tolerance policies has got to stop. What message are we sending the kids? We're certainly not doing them any favors by isolating and enfeebling them. We're going to end up with a crop of socially awkward, emotionally stunted adults unable to cope with real-life situations and interactions. They won't be able to converse with someone but boy howdy, will they ever be able to pass standardized tests for math & science. And unthinking, uncaring blind adherence and zero-tolerance is not just in our schools. Can anyone say "Homeland Security"? I've always known that common sense isn't common but when did this country stop thinking altogether? When did it stop feeling? 9/11 was a terrible life-altering event that frightened us and put us into shock. Instead of recovering from that shock we've allowed ourselves to slip into a coma. The time to wake up is long overdue. It's time to start practicing some zero-tolerance on the ridiculous, asinine, insane, arrogant, illegal, unconstitutional, and reprehensible acts that are taking place here everyday.

In "The Time Machine" H.G.Wells wrote about a future where mankind evolved into two classes. One the pastoral, innocent, docile Eloi who frolicked and played and didn't have to think for themselves. The other class was the aggressive, violent but intelligent Morlocks who bred the Eloi as livestock...AND ATE THEM. I've never felt comfortable being part of a flock.

How 'Bout a Cuddle Love?

This BBC video reports that "Texting" along with one of my favorite subjects (can you detect heavy sarcasm?) "Political Correctness" are among reasons being blamed for people not getting enough cuddles. "Cuddles" is their word (it's the BBC and it sounds kinda cute with the accent) but if you're more comfortable we can call them hugs.

I hope everyone can see the irony in using an impersonal electronic medium to deliver the message about impersonal electronic media contributing to the decline of actual and desperately needed human contact. Together with rampant over-reactionism and rising puritanism this will have us self-flagellating in stone cells, donning hair-shirts and communicating by scribing 21st century hieroglyphic emoticons on plasma screens with papyrus backgrounds. The only live human contact will be with the UPS guy delivering food that you bought from Ebazon.com.

Hugging is an underrated and under appreciated form of expression and contact. In perusing the internet I found dozens of stories covering the health benefits of hugging. There was even one on the terminally uncuddly Fox News (I guess it was part of that "fair and balanced" thing). There are also dozens of stories about the increasing trend in schools to ban ALL physical contact between students, including hugging. I can understand the concern over inappropriate contact but I'm not sure banning all forms of touching and suspending elementary school students for hugging classmates is the way to go. Something about a baby and bathwater?

I'm half Italian and I'm demonstrative. In general I like hugging but like everything else it can be good or bad. My wife got home yesterday from being out of town. When I walked through the door after work and hugged her for the first time in four days it felt wonderful indeed and I didn't want to let her go. On the other hand a hug at the wrong time and/or from the wrong person and there can be some serious squirming. I had a manager a few years back that insisted on hugging every one of her employees when she handed them their paycheck. If I had liked her I wouldn't have minded so much. But she was the kind of person that made me worry that there would be a knife going between my shoulder blades during the hug so it made me just a skosh uncomfortable. Well, that plus the fact that she bought her perfume in five-gallon buckets and doused herself with it everyday so after the hug you walked away smelling like a old syphilitic french whore, but I digress.

Since this is an electronic message I could be tempted to give you all a great big CYBER HUG {{{{{{}}}}}} and tell you to pass it on. But fuck that. Step away from the computer and go give somebody a real one.

Water, Flame, Wine, Music...Peace

For the third or fourth weekend in a row I've been in the garage (which I suppose is better that being in the doghouse) constructing gruesome artifacts. If you read my Halloween posts then you know that I spent the weeks leading up to the big event building zombies, electric chairs, cemeteries, autopsy bodies and other assorted (and sordid) props and decorations. You would think it would be time for a breather. Not hardly.

My middle daughter is playing Van Helsing (hey, shortage of guys, her good fortune) in her high school production of Dracula next weekend. I told the theater teacher months ago that I would help out. With Halloween over and production week starting, the time has come to pay up. Soooo. After clearing the lawn and figuring out where to put all the decorations (I pity anybody that decides to go in the attic above my garage, it looks like the scene in Aliens where the creatures are coming through the ceiling space...only it's zombies), then yet another trip to Home Depot, I spent the weekend building a coffin. Not just a rectangular box, but one of those really cool old fashioned shaped numbers (I plan to keep it and add it to the decoration lineup). Then I had to figure out how to rig up an effect where half of a bloody stake can stick out of Dracula's chest at the end of the play when he's killed. And at the last minute the director told me she'd really like to have a bat fly from the stage up into the lighting catwalk. It's Sunday night, the stake is done, the coffin is not as far along as I'd hoped, and I can tell you where I'd like to make a bat fly for the director. I'll get it finished. But I was stressin' today.

In my commuting blog a couple of weeks ago I explained how much I value my weekends and the limited time I have with my family. I absolutely love Halloween but as I said, this was my third or fourth weekend either in the garage, Home Depot, or the front yard. It's starting to feel like a job. On top of that my wife wasn't here this weekend. She had a family obligation in Florida and yes, I'm not ashamed to say that I miss her. Badly. The high point of the weekend was without question spending time with my two daughters, that and the kick-ass broccoli-potato-ham-cheddar soup that I made for dinner.

Like I said, I was stressin'. So, as I stood there watching the girls clean up after dinner, and I glanced into the garage at the partially finished coffin and the piles of scrap wood and sawdust, I did what any red-blooded American man would do. I poured myself my third glass of Cab Sav, ascended the stairs, lit a few candles, turned on some Native American flute music, and took a long, hot, bubbly, bath. I sat there listening to the haunting sounds, stared at the candle flame, emptied my mind, and soaked until I pruned. After enjoying a totally empty mind for a while I allowed myself to drift to a Caribbean beach which is where I would desperately love to be for real...for a week, a month...a year. Then I got out, dried off, threw on some sweats and did a Tai Chi routine. Now I feel like a limp dishrag, and I couldn't care less what's happening in the garage. I don't care whether or not Dracula has a place to sleep for the night or whether or not a bat rises out of the mist, whistles the finale from Les Miz and flies up the teacher's ass. I'll think about that tomorrow. After all...tomorrow is another day.

Baths. Christ, what a simple pleasure.

I Are Smart

Okay, I didn't really have anything to blog about today so I stole something from a fellow blogger. Biscuit, I have to give credit. Thank you for giving me something to do while I was putzing around the internet at 11:00 last night.

Here's a quiz to tell you what percentage of the population you are smarter than. Or dumber than, depending on your point of view.

Am-I-Dumb.com - The Dumb Test

I will warn you that before it gives you the results you will have to go through about 478 pages of advertisements. I think that's the real quiz. Have a great weekend. I'll be busy putting away Halloween decorations.

Follow-up on the Intoleration of Intolerance

A few weeks back I blogged about the charming little hate group called the Westboro Baptist Church from Kansas coming to my little town to protest. They were met by the UNwelcome wagon. I'm only sorry that tar and feathers weren't available. Well, there's some new information about these lovely folks.

In March 2006 Albert Snyder experienced the pain of attending the military funeral of his son, Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder. One would not think that attending the funeral of one of your children could possibly be made any worse. Unfortunately Mr. Snyder and his family learned it could. Also in attendance at that funeral were the looneys from the Westboro Baptist Church, complete with their trademark "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" signs and "God Hates Fags" tee shirts.

At some point after the funeral Mr. Snyder sued the so-called church and yesterday in federal court the verdict was announced. Mr. Snyder was awarded $11 million. $2.9 million was awarded in compensatory damages. Before the jury deliberated the amount of punitive damages the judge informed the jury that the compensatory damages award "far exceeds the net worth of the defendants". The jury came back with $6 million in punitive damages for invasion of privacy and $2 million for causing emotional distress. Hello! Can you say MESSAGE? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!!! There's serious doubt that Mr. Snyder will ever be able to collect his award but that's not the point. Here's hoping that every other family that's ever been assaulted by these dark hearts files a lawsuit too. Here's hoping that this case and every other one filed keeps these vermin tied up with legal fees to the point that they can't afford poster board and crayons for their signs or the gas needed to drive someplace to use them.

The "church" of course vowed to appeal based on their First Amendment rights to free speech and religion. I am absolutely NOT against free speech or freedom of religion. I have literally taken an oath to "protect and defend the Constitution of the United States" and I take it seriously. Much more seriously than our president does. However, the freedoms guaranteed under the Constitution apply to EVERYONE. This group does have rights but they do not include using their right to free speech to cram their religion down the throat of anyone else . At the risk of sounding like Peter Parker's uncle Ben, I believe that with great freedoms come great responsibility. Some things are just wrong and when people cross the line they need to be called on it.

My wife and I tried to raise our children using the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" approach. It's not an infallible system but it's a pretty good starting point and guideline. We didn't beat them over the head with a holy book or threaten them with a boogieman either in the sky or in the underworld. They know right from wrong and have grown into girls that we are very proud of. I mention this because, while I take some degree of satisfaction and feel some hope in seeing this jury verdict, ultimately I'm concerned and frightened. Why? Check out the picture that accompanies the linked article. The one of the ten and thirteen year old Westboro Baptist church members (children of the "church" founder) holding the protest signs. The one of the kids who experience hatred as a way of life. I shudder at the virulence of what they've been taught and of what they in turn might teach.

It brings to mind the lyrics to Rodgers & Hammerstein's "You've Got to be Carefully Taught" from South Pacific:

You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,
You’ve got to be taught from year to year,
It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear—
You’ve got to be carefully taught

You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a different shade—
You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late—
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate—
You’ve got to be carefully taught!
You’ve got to be carefully taught!